{"id":120,"date":"2018-05-07T19:00:51","date_gmt":"2018-05-07T10:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/biggestinjapan.com\/?p=120"},"modified":"2018-05-07T18:41:20","modified_gmt":"2018-05-07T09:41:20","slug":"ask-dr-ani-love-my-boyfriend-is-an-overprotective-military-otaku","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/biggestinjapan.com\/index.php\/2018\/05\/07\/ask-dr-ani-love-my-boyfriend-is-an-overprotective-military-otaku\/","title":{"rendered":"Ask Dr. Ani-Love: “My Boyfriend is an Overprotective Military Otaku”"},"content":{"rendered":"

Welcome to the inaugural Ask Dr. Ani-Love column where I take letters from anime characters, break down their problems, and give them some much needed love advice.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Doctor, <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m 16, female and I need some help with my overprotective boyfriend. A bit of backstory. My boyfriend, \u201cBonta\u201d and I met last year when he transferred\u00a0into my school. He\u2019s grown up traveling between war-torn nations and treats normal, everyday life as if it were a dangerous battlefield.<\/em><\/p>\n

From the start he was weird. He didn\u2019t understand simple things like how to sort recyclable garbage, would brazenly (yet, obliviously) walk into the girl\u2019s changing room, and even tried to bring a gun to school on his first day! He made it his mission to \u201cprotect me\u201d and did his best to stay by my side 24-7. Even now, months later, he\u2019s not much better. He just adds a ton of pointless chaos to my life.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

But as it turns out, he\u2019s surprisingly dependable. When the bullets start flying, he seems to be purely in his element. I know that whenever I am in trouble, no matter how dangerous, I have him to depend on. He\u2019d literally take a bullet for me.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

And it\u2019s not like all this chaos it\u2019s on him. I\u2019m a little smart when it comes to math and science and that has gotten the attention of some \u201cunscrupulous\u201d people. While Bonta and his friends do their best to keep these bad influences away from me (they have a long history with each other it seems), I keep getting caught in the middle. (I was even the victim of an airplane hijacking because of this!)<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

When it all comes down to it, I love my boyfriend and he loves me. But all this drama has him constantly on edge, trying to protect me from every threat, both real and imagined. All I want for us is to go to college and then start a life together like normal people. Yet, those \u201cunscrupulous people\u201d I mentioned before show no signs of stopping. And I\u2019m afraid that someone—someone I truly care about–is going to get hurt.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

What can I do to straighten out my boyfriend and protect my normal life?<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Sincerely,<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Exhausted Green-Haired Beauty<\/span><\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dear EGHB,<\/span><\/p>\n

As I was reading your letter, I was prepared to give you the whole spiel about enforcing your boundaries and then be prepared to leave the relationship if he didn\u2019t respect them. But as with so many, the problem you\u2019re having isn\u2019t actually what you think it is.<\/span><\/p>\n

The moment I read your comment about the airplane hijacking, it put your whole situation in perspective. When you say \u201cthe bullets start flying\u201d or \u201che\u2019d take a bullet for me,\u201d you really do mean it literally.<\/span><\/p>\n

So I have some bad news for you–some news that you\u2019re really not going to want to hear. But as my colleague of mine often says, \u201csometime you just gotta break out the chair-leg of truth.<\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019re not living a normal life. You haven\u2019t been for some time and it\u2019s unlikely you will anytime in the foreseeable future.<\/span><\/p>\n

Are you wrong for wanting a normal life? Of course not. But the simple fact remains, you can\u2019t \u201cprotect\u201d something you don\u2019t have. Now I don\u2019t know who is after you, but if they want you for your intelligence, there\u2019s really nothing you have to bargain with. Either you work for them or you fight against them–there is no middle ground. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNormal,\u201d as you idolize it, is simply not in the cards. Instead you need to accept reality and carve out whatever happiness you can–which leads us back to your boyfriend.<\/span><\/p>\n

From what you have told me, it seems Bonta is no stranger to the world of guns and violence. To him, this is \u201cnormal\u201d and it was school life that he was completely unprepared for. Now the shoe is on the other foot and you are having problems integrating into his world. <\/span><\/p>\n

But here\u2019s the good news: he knows exactly what you are going through on that front. Remind him what it was like for him when he started school and see if he can help acclimate you to your new normal. <\/span><\/p>\n

Beyond that, focus on making a new \u201cTeam You.\u201d He can\u2019t be your only support–that\u2019s not fair to him and that\u2019s not fair to you. It seems you already know his friends who are likewise accustomed to a life of danger. If you can, find another woman who can be your support in that area when needed. <\/span><\/p>\n

Also, one more question. In his group of friends is there anyone like you–someone who shares the same mental gifts that would understand that part of what you\u2019re going through? If so, foster that relationship post-haste.<\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019re in a tough spot, no doubt about that. You\u2019re life is likely to continue changing–and in a way you don\u2019t agree with–but you\u2019re not alone. Focus on getting adjusted to the new normal and you may just find happiness for both you and Bonta.<\/span><\/p>\n

Fight the good fight!<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

\"\"Image source: \u50d5\u306e\u30d2\u30fc\u30ed\u30fc\u30a2\u30ab\u30c7\u30df\u30a2_\u30a2\u30cb\u30e1\u516c\u5f0f<\/a> on Twitter<\/em><\/p>\n

Sup Doc,<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I\u2019m a freshman in high school and I have a problem. While I love the ladies, they don\u2019t seem to feel the same way about me. I don\u2019t get why. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I go to a prestigious school, get good grades, and am athletic (though not as athletic as some of the guys in my class). Heck, I am even on track to become a hero in the near the future. I should be a chick magnet! Yet, somehow I am surrounded by beauties and none of them give me the time of day. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

And when I say beauties, I mean top tier. All of them are in great shape and, better still, they wear skin-tight outfits whenever we\u2019re out of the classroom–and that\u2019s the bare minimum. One girl goes braless and wears a shirt with cleavage down to her navel! Another walks around wearing literally nothing but boots and gloves (though you don\u2019t get to see as much as you\u2019d think). <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Heck, even those who show off less have their own erotic points. One has the longest tongue you\u2019ve ever seen. I mean, just think what she could do with that! <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I swear, just looking around the classroom I feel like I\u2019m going to explode sometimes! If there was someway to see any of them naked, I\u2019d take it in a heartbeat–god knows I\u2019ve tried to enough times.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

But while I\u2019m having issues, some of my male classmates have these women all but throwing themselves at them (even if they\u2019re too dumb to realize it). I\u2019m so envious that I could cry blood when I see this happen. Why them and not me?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Granted, I am a bit shorter than my fellow classmates, but if that\u2019s the reason I\u2019m ignored, what could I possibly do? Should I just stay patient and wait till I become a hero–read: \u201cautomatic chick magnet\u201d–or is there something I can do now?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Aspiring Chick Magnet<\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dear Aspiring Chick Magnet,<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve got bad news for you. Becoming a hero isn\u2019t going to make you a hit with the ladies. Why? Because you are basically acting like the creepiest creep ever to creep. You ignore boundaries (both personal and societal ones) and, judging by the tone of your letter, think that it is somehow acceptable to do so.<\/span><\/p>\n

But while that\u2019s no doubt why your classmates have zero romantic interest in you, it\u2019s far from the root of your problem. That would be envy. You see that popular people are surrounded by pretty girls. You want that too. If you had that, then you\u2019d be popular too. <\/span><\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the thing though, women aren\u2019t \u201cthings\u201d to obtain. They\u2019re living, breathing, thinking people–and they have decided the way you act has removed you from the potential dating pool. <\/span><\/p>\n

I can hear you objecting now, \u201cI know women are people!\u201d But you need to stop, think, and really consider your actions. There isn\u2019t a specific person you\u2019re interested in–that you want to build a connection and\/or potential future with. You just have an empty \u201cgirlfriend space\u201d in your heart and you want it filled. Now don\u2019t get me wrong, in and of itself, this is not a bad thing–it\u2019s part of the human condition to long for companionship. What\u2019s bad is that you don\u2019t care who fills that spot as long as you find them physically attractive–which seems to be just about everyone you know. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There is no woman out there who wants to be seen as an interchangeable thing. There may be many fish in the sea but each of them wants to feel like they are something special and irreplaceable. Your actions prove that, at the moment, you are unable to give this feeling to a potential partner.<\/span><\/p>\n

So let\u2019s try something radical. Try treating your female classmates as if they were your male classmates. The next time the hormones are pounding and you\u2019re about to do something involving the opposite sex, stop and think to yourself \u00a0\u201cwould I do this if they were my male friends?\u201d If the answer is no, don\u2019t do it. <\/span><\/p>\n

Remember, this applies to staring at them as well. Attractive they might be, but stop treating the women around you like pieces of meat put on this earth for you to salivate over. <\/span><\/p>\n

And for all that is holy STOP TRYING TO SEE THEM NAKED WITHOUT THEIR PERMISSION! Beyond it being morally repugnant, it\u2019s a literal crime and could get you arrested–ending your hero career before it even gets going.<\/span><\/p>\n

At this point, ACM, you\u2019re not ready for a relationship of any kind. You should focus on fixing yourself and your attitude. Then, and only then, should you even consider looking for a romantic partner. Though, the good news is that, if you\u2019re successful fixing yourself, you might just find that rather than having to search for love, someone will be drawn to you all on their own.<\/span><\/p>\n

Good luck.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Top Image Source: TV\u30a2\u30cb\u30e1\u300c\u30d5\u30eb\u30e1\u30bf\u30eb\u30fb\u30d1\u30cb\u30c3\u30af\uff01IV\u300d\u200f<\/span><\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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